Recently I was told that this blog is too negative. I really
had to sit down and think about this. It was a statement that really hurt me. To
think that there is someone or multiple someones out there reading this and
instead of sending happy thoughts or positivity, they have opted to share with
others their thought on how negative this blog is. My first reaction was to
stop the blog and delete my previous posts. I was hurt and felt ashamed that
negativity might be the only thing that people are getting out of this blog.
But then I got to thinking and realized that there are going to be portions of
my blog that are negative, there are going to be portions that are positive,
and there are going to be portions that are simply stating facts. It’s called
REALITY.
I thought about the many people who have messaged me,
texted, or commented on my posts letting me know how much they appreciate me
sharing my story. I’ve had people message me letting me know that they find it
brave because they are struggling with the exact same issue but they are too
afraid to let people know. I’ve had people who I have not talked to in years message me and share their story of
infertility with me- sometimes for the first time outside of immediate family.
I’ve had others message me to share their story of success with infertility-
one who had just found out they were expecting (I knew before it was Facebook
official!)
Not every second of every single day is going to be filled
with positivity and sunshine. We all struggle and we all hurt from time to
time. I went back and read the posts that I have made so far and what I see is
pain, sorrow, anger, hope, wishes, and a story. I see pain and sorrow through
the struggles. I see anger when life dealt me more than I thought I could
handle, and it wasn’t fair. I see hope, wishes and a story throughout and
especially in the last post.
Throughout the next few months I expect there to be plenty
more blog posts that may contain negativity. I pray, I wish, and I know there will be many more that share my positivity and my
hopefulness as well.
There are so many hardships that come with infertility. You
may think that it’s just not being able to have a baby and that’s it. But it’s
so connected with you entire life. When you think of your life, what is the
most important part of it? Most people will answer their family. When you ask a
parent what the best part of their life is they will almost certainly answer
their children. So when you feel like that opportunity is being taken away from
you or when all that stands between you and having the family you always wanted
is money (for treatments or adoption), it is incredibly tough. As a child you
plan your whole life out; your soulmate, your wedding, your children. Most of
us have picked out baby names while we were still considered babies!
So to everyone reading this blog, if you feel the need to
tell your friend, your brother, your sister, or even me that my blog is too
negative…please take a look in the mirror and realize that the only person
being negative is you. I am sharing my story. My story may be coming out a
‘chapter’ at a time, but that does not give you the right to judge the book by
one chapter. If you are reading this blog and you have children and you feel
the need to share how negative my blog is, please imagine your life without
your children. If you think that your life would be 100xs better without them,
then go ahead and think my blog is negative. But if for one second you feel as
your life would be worse and you cannot stand thinking about losing them/never
having them, then you have felt one minuscule piece of what infertility is/can be. 
To all who are reading this, take this post and apply it to
all situations in life. So many parts of life can bring us down. Sometimes you
catch someone on their fall to the bottom. Help them to see the parts of life
that are amazing. Don’t point out that they are on the bottom, help them back
up to the top. We all struggle and fall sometimes.
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